And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
