So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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