you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
