Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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