talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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