what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Are we still banned from the library?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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