i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
