This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
