Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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