Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
