Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
