I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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