Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think people are normalizing furries
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
