That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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