I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
