She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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