She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
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