hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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