His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
