Your face is a jimmy john
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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