the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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