My brain says no but my pants say off.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize