hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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