did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
