So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
