she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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