actually, I'm a sock model
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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