google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was born a porn star she said
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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