Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
