I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
