Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
