woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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