Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
