When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
