Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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