I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
