I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
