...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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