Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
