tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
