so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Randomize
