I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
