I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
