even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize