I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
