we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
