I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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