what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
