but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
