I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize