all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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