hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
