Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
