I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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