Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
