Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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