I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize