forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
