I seem to have left my pride at pride
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
