i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize