Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
