You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
