well most of my day revolves around power hour
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
