I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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